How to Support Your Man During His Midlife Crisis
Our forties are a time when we face a series of challenges and struggles, so we feel exhausted. You may also mourn the “passing of youth” and feel like everything is harder for you, and nothing makes you happy. Although not everyone goes through this, studies have shown that midlife crisis does exist and is very real. It affects both men and women, but men seem to have a harder time dealing with it.
What Does a Midlife Crisis Look Like, and What Are the Possible Causes?
When a midlife crisis occurs, many of us search for answers, change, and adventure. This usually brings hasty decisions, impulsive behavior and purchases, and changes just for the sake of change. It happens to both men and women, but it is considered to be more visible in men.
If you notice that your partner is often nervous for no reason, that he is in a bad mood, or he tells you that he feels unfulfilled, that may be the beginning of a midlife crisis. During this period, men often start doing some things that they did in their youth again. They tend to dedicate themselves to fitness, gym, or some extreme sports. Some can start dyeing their hair or being more careful about their diet.
Suddenly, the person with whom we have shared our life for years becomes someone else. In some cases, he reminds us of the guy we had fun with twenty years ago. In extreme cases, some men decide to start all over again, which includes leaving behind everything from their present life. He can’t explain what’s wrong with him — he just feels different and needs a dramatic change. Your man is depressed and irritable. He complains a lot and is often withdrawn; he starts quarrels all the time.
If you notice any of these things, know that they are likely to be symptoms of a midlife crisis. If you have a strong marriage, you’ll have no problem understanding this and getting through it together. If you don’t, no amount of marriage advice and counseling can explain how important it is to be there for him in this difficult period.
Know When to Let Him Be Alone
This crisis in a man’s life is not something unusual at all and is not something that should be denied or ignored. This affects you too as well as your entire family. It is extremely important that you know when to calm down and withdraw from a fight. You shouldn’t press him.
Sometimes, just listening to him will suffice. Therefore, when he is silent and in a bad mood, try not to be assertive so as not to get into a fight. Because each individual’s life is different, the reasons for the midlife crisis are also different. Let him know that you are there for him, but also allow him to be alone with himself sometimes. This way, he can analyze why he feels that way and whether he truly lacks something important in life.
Set Small Goals With Him
Help your man remember that, as time goes by, new circumstances, events, and challenges will arise, but you’ll be there for him. When life looks too big and scary, it’s best to set small goals you can achieve together. Smaller goals are much easier to achieve than big ones, and when he starts tackling them one by one, he’ll start feeling better. Encourage and praise him whenever he fulfills a goal and let him know that he did a great job.
Support and Encourage Him
We all need love and support, especially when we feel the most lonely, lost, and vulnerable in life. Yet, with the love and support of our people, we can overcome anything. Love can do wonders. It can happen that he goes through several crises during his life, for example, when children grow up and become independent or when he realizes that he is not irreplaceable at work. It is important to recognize that and be gentle.
In the most difficult times, show your partner how much he means to you and that he is attractive to you. In other words, boost his self-confidence when he’s feeling down. Make him see that life did not end with youth, and there will be many more wonderful moments in maturity. In fact, many people enjoy life much more when they are older and wiser than when they’re young and scared.
Show Them Your Love
Rekindle intimacy and love! Make him his favorite cake or watch a movie he has been talking about for ages. Get close to him and show him that he is as attractive to you as he was at the beginning of the relationship. Buy him a shirt, or surprise him with a trip. Don’t let love be just a word.
Try to explain, calmly and directly, that you are there for him. Share your need for security, intimacy, and love. Remind him that he still has an important role in your life and that you want him to continue to be the one you can rely on and have deep feelings for. You are both on the same side — you play for the same team!